gosh...i'm stuck here at home as usual....ahahaha...parents dont seem to happy dont really know why...ahahah....

too many things to think about...such as...my friend is having a bday party that I'm kinda planning...then like...i dont know if i should do something for my birthday...some people says i should but i dont know if i actually want to plan something...kinda do kinad dont cause i'm already thinking of my friend's lolz...so yea...should i?? any opinions?? to whom ever still reads this ahahahahaha......well for the most part my parents have already made it clear that they will not be doing anything for me on my bday...cause like the key club fall rally is going to be on the weekend of my bday and so yea..they said me going there is my bday celebration ahahaha

o wellz to be honest not really looking forward to my bday...just another day of growing up and getting older...like...in i havent really had a good birhtday celebration in the longest time...last year i remember looking forward to my birthday coming up but because of certain events that have heppened within this last year...i am just not looking forward to it cause i dont think it will really be the same...ok what i'm writing is kinda dumb...only the people who knows what have happened knows what i'm talking about and knows the real reason why i'm kinda blah about my birthday...

jss thanks to all my friends who have been there I love you guys...you are the people that make me say CHEESE ahahahaha...i know that having you guys there will make my bday special no matter what oohhh yeesss

WEEEEEEE

i havent gone here in the longest time..but now i promise i shall always keep this updated...hehehehe i'm a  myspace whore sorry LOLZ.......

wooooooooooooooo

its 10 days til my birthday!!!!

NOVEMBER 14!! my birthday!! dont forget!!!

ai yah...at times i just want people to leave me alone and just me live my life in peace....

everyone seems to have so much to say about my past relationship....just hearing what everyone says just confuses me....right now i'm in such a vulnerable state....i'm going through so much already i dont need other people's crap...but knowing me...i will still take people's crap cause i can never turn away from someone...thats me...even though i'll complain..i'll just keep on doing what i'm doing or watever........there lots to say i guess about my past relationship....sean and i lasted eight months....and they were the best eight months of my life. he was my first boyfriend and my first everything. he was a big part of my life. the reason why we broke up was that he suppossedly cheated on me. no one could believe it and i couldnt believe it..i mean..come on...its sean right? well i dont really know what to think on that subject cause there are two sides to the story...i talked it over with sean and he said his side and then i talked to rianne (the other girl) and told me her side...the two stories obviously didnt match with each other and one of them was lying but i couldnt tell who...but that doesnt matter.....i may be stupid for this but i trusted what sean told me. maybe i shouldnt have but i did. and i still do trust him...so many of my friends are being so mean to me.....sean and i are trying to work things out....i still want to be with him...i still love him...a part of me is still kinda hurt you know....i mean i'll take time for me to fully mend...i'm just hurt cause it kinda sucked that the special things we had in the relatinship he shared it with her. and now a part of me feels like we dont have any special things in our relationship anymore....iono...i still have hope you guys! i do! i guess i'm just stupid alot of firends thinks i am cause they say i'm just going to put myself through pain and carp...you all say that theres better guys out there and such...well i know that! but you know what i still have hope! i have hope that things will get better...and if i do go through pain again well its worth it cause i think hes worth it..you guys may think its not but i do cause he still makes me happy...for all those who know me u know i just dont let anything go...i dont cause i'm not that type of person...if i think there still something there then i'll still fight for it...i dont just give up..i love the freakin guy so i'll still fight for him! ok! yea fine! i may be stupid for doing what i'm doing....but i'm stupidly in love...and going for him makes me happy. so i'm just doing what makes me happy! so deal!!! instead of being mean friends why dont you just support me and just hope that things will turn out good! if you dont think so then pray for all i care! i'm also doing what you guys told me to do! do what makes me happy and i'm doing it! watever..i'm done.............